If you have a special woman or lady friend in your life, what better way to show how much she means to you by giving her something timeless? And nothing says “always” like Professor Snape, however, in this case, a diamond will have to do. So, in light of the holiday season, I thought I would share with you all the secret diamond recipe that will put a little sparkle in your Christmas cheer. Lucky for you US Patent Application 20080009356 A1 tells you how to make diamonds.

The Solution

Full disclosure the ‘356 Patent Application is more like a gag gift. Okay, it’s a gag gift, but there’s still some gems to be found in it. Like the “Heart Shape” diamond or a Christmas classic like the “Virgin Mary”. These diamonds are difficult to make, however, allow me to walk you through the process of how it’s made

How to Make Diamond?

The ‘356 patent application diamonds are made from coal. Typically 75 miles of earth compresses coal (or some other carbon based mineral) at 40,000 bar and 900 degrees Celsius.  However, the inventors of the ‘356 Patent Application believe in the strength of man and says, using your mystic aura, you can just squeeze coal in your hand really, really hard. Like diamonds in the earth, one should avoid peeking at the progress because the coal needs constant pressure to become a diamond. However, if you know you will be tempted to peek I suggest investing in a pair of x-ray glasses, which may be more expensive than buying a diamond (Warning: radiation may make your diamonds turn green).

Finally, the ‘356 patent application recommends applying some heat to speed up the process. Ideally, you want do this in the summer, however, winter is here so I suggest wearing gloves that are a great conductor of heat. Remember, you ideally want this to reach 900 degrees C, so make sure those gloves are fire resistant, too.

Special Attributes

Guys, seriously…it’s a diamond. It sparkles and it’s the closest thing we have to the Moon on earth. In my opinion, that is what makes diamonds so, so special.

The Wrap Up

So, if you want to show that special lady in your life that you care and will love her until the end of 2020, then make her a diamond that will stand the test of Mr. Trump’s presidency. You could also head to Zales or something and buy one, you’re the boss of your loss.

Happy Holidays!


Have critiques or comments let me know below or send us a message at thecomediccreations@gmail.com

Written by ipbanker