Securing the southern hemisphere has been quite difficult. Dealing with all these aliens coming through the sky has been a challenge for the Terrestrial Emperor. Then, there is the pressing problem of mutants being born.  The world has seen a series of conflicts over the years and continues to struggle with how to solve this problem. “I knew my dream had to come true one day: mutants and humans should be able to set aside their differences and have a sandwich together,” says Virginia Steele, a theoretical physicist living in Las Vegas, NV. “I mean there I was on my way to gamble the rest of my life’s oxygen on a black jack table and I see them.” Steele says he saw a human and mutant casually having a sandwich together. However, thanks to  US Patent Application 20030228293 A1 (PA ‘293) both people were just humans eating a sandwich.

Solution

PA ‘293 uses a pharmaceutical composition or surgical procedure of nuclear transfer embryonic stem cells (ntES cells) to correct mutations in humans. In other words, physicians inject mutants with stem cells that turn them into fearful humans. “I am really glad someone thought of this. There was a time when seeing a human drink water that was turned into wine was repulsive to many [humans], and today, after seeing  former mutants and humans eating a sandwich together…that’s when I knew we have come a long way,” said Steele. Today we finally have a way to change mutants to humans. As usual, we have to thank the Caucasian humanoid rats for volunteering to be clinical test subjects.

How To Make Mutants human

The recombination DNA method corrects mutations, or genetic defects.  See here to learn how scientists use the same method to create mutants. It works by the mutant’s DNA and a ntES cell undergoing homologous recombination. The homologous recombination creates new ntES cells, i.e., the stem cells fuse with mutant cells to create a normal cell (two negatives make a positive). Scientists then use hematopoiteic stem cells (HSC) to differentiate from the old ntES from new ntES. Alternatively, they can use tetraploid embryonic complementation (TES) to differentiate cells.

Technically, scientists have made humans by turning mutants into a chimera–a human mutant combination where the mutant is just a bit more human. Mutants that could once turn water into wine now turn water into grape juice. Doctors recommend multiple sessions to reap the full benefits and generally prescribe suppressants. These suppressants help mutants alter their behavior so they can behave like a normal inconspicuous human. “It makes me feel a little more comfortable now, the mutants just seem…less intimidating,” said Steele.

The Wrap Up

It’s good to see that medicine and innovation continue to make dreams reality. Now only if we can figure out how to deal with those aliens. The Emperor of the world recommends surrounding the earth with an electromagnetic bubble and a denser ozone layer. When asked how the planet will acquire the resources to build such a barrier, he simply stated, “we will use our resources and get the aliens to reimburse us later.”

Contact

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Written by ipbanker